For much of my life, I was stuck in toxic patterns that played out in all my relationships; without realizing it, I wounded my children in many of the same ways I had been wounded.

By 2005, my relationship with my daughter was barely hanging on, and I had no idea how to fix it. My then-husband suggested I attend a personal development program that he’d learned about, because he thought it might help me bridge the chasm between me and my daughter. I said yes, out of fear of losing her, and it was a decision that changed everything. I dove in headfirst, ended up coaching with the organization for six seasons, and learned how deeply our beliefs shape our reality. I committed to healing myself and showing up differently for the people in my life.

My love for my children motivated me to reckon with myself, and my willingness to address my “issues” became the catalyst for my daughter to begin healing herself. Years later, she called me forth in a new way. In her own quest for answers, she had discovered plant medicine and asked me to sit for her first “psychedelic” journey. I resisted—everything in me screamed “NO!” I had been raised in the War on Drugs era, and fear ran deep. But I also knew she would move forward with or without me. So, I said yes, and educated myself.

Having learned about this method of inner exploration, I decided to experience my own ceremony. It cracked me open, revealing deeply rooted shame, childhood wounds, and the barriers I had created to keep me “safe.” Through these experiences, my daughter and I healed parts of ourselves individually, and deepened our ability to see and feel compassion for each other. I learned when a mother does her own inner work, it unlocks healing for both her and her child as individuals and accelerates transformation in their relationship with each other.